Not Knowing Is a Mercy
Sometimes, you make decisions that are thought-through, methodical, cautious. You know in advance what to expect (within reason, anyway) and you make a choice that seems wise.
And then sometimes unexpected things happen and you don’t have the chance to know in advance or think through what you would like to do. We recently purchased a used car after careful planning and consideration, and I felt calm about it. Immediately afterwards (within the next two weeks) we experienced several car-related, unexpected expenses. The first expense, buying a car, seemed so in-control, and then all of a sudden I was thrown off course by the unexpected and was tempted to panic and get frustrated that these car expenditures were being required of us. I chatted with my mom about how I had to purposefully remind myself that money isn’t our security, and that I knew we had to keep trusting God with these situations that arose without advance warning. She mentioned to me that these surprise events are one way He can cause us to practice trust. (Notably, they are not surprise events to Him.)
All of this reminded me of a passage that had struck me a while back when I first read it in Wendell Berry’s Jayber Crow:
Thinking to try to comfort him, I said, “Well, along with all else, there’s goodness and beauty too. I guess that’s the mercy of the world.”
Mat said, “The mercy of the world is you don’t know what’s going to happen.”
I think both points are true. Yes, God gives us a lot of goodness and beauty even in simple, everyday things, and these can encourage us as we get through each day. But also, not letting us know the future is actually a great part of God’s mercy to us. Even though I often think it’s better to know things in advance, since I like to plan and feel like I’m in control, I know it’s true that in reality not knowing the future is much better for me. Imagine if we already knew exactly all of the sadness and suffering that we and our loved ones were to go through in our lifetimes. I think I would tend to want to just give up now, in that case! Furthermore, God is merciful in letting us experience the unexpected so that we learn to lean on Him. If we could plan for every “crisis” moment that we already knew we would experience, then where would be the need for trust?
On the other hand, there are certain things He has let us know about the future (and present) that are solid, certain, and completely reassuring. I love the confidence expressed in all of 1 John about how we as children of God are able to know many things. Most significantly, for example, John writes, “These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you have eternal life” (1 John 5:13). In the end, we can know with confidence that things will end well for us “who love God, . . . who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). I don’t need to worry.
